Book of Don, Chapter two

Just been to the pub with Fred!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

but not much time to play it :(

This week I have a cold. Not an awful cold by any means, just one that leaves you gagging for air as you nose learns what its like to be a toilet at a turkish bath. I've been so pumped up on drugs I achieved nirvana two days ago. This cold could possibly of had to sources. One being all the sick people at work which is a high possibilty or perhaps it was like my trip to chessington, which much like my trip to Alton Towers earlier in the year, was blessed with Noah's flood. Which would explain all the animals.
Chessington was a great day out and surprising cheap, unless your name is Shani and must buy gifts for everyone you have ever met. I bought some fantastic flashing blue glasses which look perfect on me when I have also sprayed my hair blue as well. The rides there are ok although don't reach the dizzy heights of Alton Towers and are generally wetter. The company was once again superb with Ami and the wife tagging along for my fantastic personality.
In the last week I also briefly graced London with my presence. It was five in the morning people! Thats no time to be awake. Anyway it was wet, again and I still had to work in the afternoon. The esclators were somewhat boring compared to my last London visit. And in a few days London calls me again as I go to theatre. Stand up comedy here we come!

Chessington!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believe that there is a song for every moment, every feeling, every event and every emotion in your life. You can't always find it but when you do it captures that moment in time perfectly.

So for those occasions when you are eating ice cream may I recommend the song 'Let's Stay Together by Al Green'

Everyone went out to meet June, well almost everyone. I got drunk and made a complete fool of myself, oops. Need my memory card back. Think did many silly stuff tonight, but all good. Too many double vodka and coke, too many people laughing. need sleep

This week has been a perilous one on the way home. One day I spend an hour watching two chavs fight on train tracks. The next night there is a police car and ambulance outside a local pub as a girl fits violently on the floor and gangs of chavs seem out and about all the time.
I also find myself recently spending far too much money on things I don't really need. Must spend it on things that make me happy instead, ALCOHOL! No just kidding, women

Once again I am off work and unfortunately a certain lack of funds has prevented certain things I would of liked to of done. My trip to london cancelled, my trip to disneyland cancelled, my trip to spain not planned far enough ahead.
Time is passing fairly quietly at the moment if a little fast and I can't help but feel another six months off work might help

Apparently my reputation is changing at work. When once I was a repectable man of society that could do no wrong I am now one who is an alcoholic. Apparently my drinking has reached dangerous levels which mean i am no longer to make sensible decisions and may lead me to do something stupid. Although perhaps I have been out drinking more, I think everyone knows that I am not one of those people apart from my continued beard growth which is now beginning to reach, i have been informed, 'sexy level'

Advice for the day: if you don't like to hear the truth don't read it

Did test the nation this weekend and I have an IQ of 135. Bow before my genius!

I don't post much anymore and that because there has not really been anything good to post. As most of you know my ex girlfriend Vikki, who dumped me because she was not in the right state to be in any sort of relationship right now, well she appears to be sleeping with womanising health risk Matt Rising for care free non commital sex. Having been told i was a perfect bf that she still loved me and wanted to get back with me one day while this all happened followed by her parading him in front of me and everyone I work with constantly is more than a kick in the teeth. Even more so when she can't even tell me because she can't live with the fact she may actually be the bitch she doesn't want to be. Beware people, 2 years of friendship of which seven months was together is worth nothing compared to an easy shag apparently. How people change for the worse so quickly. So if anyone knows that secret mystical location where intelligent, good looking women in their mid twenties hang out please let me know
Anyhow life is not all bad, I recently won a pack of condoms or lubricant! Barmaid at the Hob beware!
I also have the urge to tell a happy story. Once upon a time there was a young elephant named, Nathanel. He was a bad elephant because after school he liked to munch on other elephants nuts. This caused much problems in the herd until one day he was lucky in that he found a mystical pouch. In this pouch he found a lifetime supply of chocolate and never again would he bother the heard again.
The moral of this story is that school won't always drive you nuts!

By the way, does anyone have a laminator fetish and would you date someone that did?

I love her so much

Its a good feeling when you know life never changes because at least you know you have stability in your life. So once again I find myself with women problems. Do I create them? Am i proof that it is incredibly difficult for men and women to get close and not have feeling at some point, probably.
My girlfriend is away for two weeks which after a few days of sulking, is not quite as bad as I thought it was. Even though everyone is convinced she has cheated on me with at least half the men in the mediteranean. Apparently, because its news to me, I am going out with Shani's sister who could well be trying to be my friend just to get back at her ex boyfriend. I am having dreams of other women and some people at work are once again working against my happiness.
In so many ways this makes my life easier to live as how can one worry about things when they are too absurd to even believe they could be happening. Its so ridiculous that I could well be making this all up. Bring on next week when Rachael and Vikki return and my life potentially spirals into a new dimension

My Grandad died

Life has been tough, annoying and stressful recently so any ideas of relaxation and ways to clear head would be appreciated

Its one of those days when loads of small things just build up and really annoy you. Worries about my insecurities seem more and more realistic everyday. And why is it that everytime you go to use a computer or bathroom in my house there is always and I mean ALWAYS someone in there.

Anyway my holiday has involved my usual attempt to tidy my room which has brought more success than usual as my floor is clear! Hooray!
I have been swimming, seen the girlfriend nearly enough and invented a new form of self punishment that involves trapping myself in a station door to amuse foreign tourists. Plus I didn't vote because I didn't know anyone even though the polling station is clearly visable outside my bedroom window.

Ah, if only i could think of something interesting to write. Life is going reasonably good although I would prefer less work and more time with the girlfriend.
Fucking Miller is now joining the evening shift trying to ruin a few good months.
And I got a new computer, it works its good its expensive I rarely use computers anyway so why did I buy it?

Today has been an annoying day. If having your train replaced by a late bus was not bad enough, I got stuck in the 'only working'lift at work. I had been warned it was messing about but as others had used it I thought what the hell and went in. The doors closed, the lift moved down, the door banged against the wall, bent out of shape and went up and down again before deciding it was too bent out of shape to reach a floor. So they I stood laughing going shit knowing everyone would think I did this on purpose. I assumed they would reset the lift and everything would be ok. This was not the case. Within ten minutes sue and graeme tried to free me not realising the door was broken. They called engineer and I was told about an hour.
The first half hour was spent laughing a my predicament. I posed in the mirror, practice my rescue pose and danced naked. It appeared that the firemen from across the road were going to free me. Apparently not. Brian decided that as it would cause a scene and damage the broken lift that I should wait for the engineer. Just as well I was not scared of small spaces or suffering from lack of oxygen due to the numerous holes in the solid lift. People spoke to me worried for my safety or just laughed. Many assumed that as I was stuck in a lift without food and water that I must be dying. That if i was not spoken to regularly I would turn mad. If only that was the case.
I was in fact bored. I spent the second half hour fixing the door as people went off to lunch informing me of their great meals. Once it became apparent that Brian was more concerned with the lift than me and that there was no more anyone could do to fix the lift until the engineer got there I began to sit there and wait. I spent the next hour trying to find things to do. All I had with me was a pack of condoms (why wasn't Vikki with me?), some comfy shoe insoles and some tan optimser which was no use to me in England let alone a lift. After two hours an engineer arrived, forced the lift up and set me free walking into the light.
I was met by Vikki on her lunch, Brian (presumably to see if I was about to sue him) and Sue who was kind enough to buy me a cool can of coke. No one offered me the rest of the day off or anything. To be fair I was fine due to my amazing mental discipline but that is not the point. In fact lift jokes haunted me for the rest of the evening. I would hate to have seen the repercusions had it been some of the other members of staff who suffer in such situations. This includes just about everyone including the likes of Miller and Adrian.

This year is already one I will never forget with recent events only adding to that. Having felt down for the last week or so I find my mood a little improved. Despite certain time restraints I have still found the time to consistantly beat Dan at pool and spend time with my gorgeous girlfiend.
In fact last night I had the pleasure of witnessing a show she performed in. Now the word witness has rarely been more appropriate as it was sorely needed of my expert dance input. But despite this minor quibble it was entertaining and well worth the trip.
I find myself getting more and more addicted to junk food. I am constantly eating either chips or chocolate and feel that perhaps I need to take care before I start putting on weight. Therefore I have decided that after next week that I will give up chocolate for lent this year.
My attempts to improve my fitness have been dampened by the fact I keep simply forgetting to practice my flares. How can I take the world dancing crown if I consistantly forget to practice when I have the loading bay to myself.
I have also noticed that everyone wants my hat. Some people want to make love to that hat, others just want to wear it, some even want me. I can understand these needs but people, you can buy your own hats and I am way out of your league.
In the last few days I have also learnt a valueable lesson. That is that sisters should be not ever allowed to speak.